Thoughts on Sexuality

There are a lot of voices, a lot of opinions these days. I’ve wondered if I have anything valuable to contribute. Is it worth it in the sea of words words words to share my thoughts? I decided it is. While my understanding is more than incomplete, my language wanting at best and offensive at worst, my opinions ever being tweaked in my own heart and my mind- with all of these things true, here I go anyway.

Those who have ears to hear, let them hear.

I tend to see the poles of things. Over “here” is one idea, over “there” is the opposite, and then there is a spectrum in between. The spectrum between introversion and extroversion, between black and white, etc. I believe the way of Jesus, the way I seek to follow, is generally not found at one extreme or the other, or even anywhere on the spectrum. I believe God’s way is that different, that unexpected, that disarming, that GOOD. May this idea be the framework for any discussion that develops from these words, because we are all SO TIRED of the same old circling-the-drain conversation.

So, in order to start from a different place, let’s all hop on the vulnerability train. Ready? I have wrestled deeply at different points in my life concerning my sexuality, my gender. Not surprised? You, too? Oh. That’s what I thought. 😉 Many of us (though not all) have waded through the murky waters of sorting out our male-ness, our female-ness, our person-ness, our masculinity, our femininity, etc. Although I understand human sexuality to be complex and multi-faceted, my world view, my paradigm of human sexuality is very simple.

As a follower of Jesus, I have given up my rights to define myself. And when I really pressed in and was able to see Him in the midst of the stormy seas of sexual identity confusion, you know what He said to me? He said, “You are MINE.” I belong to God. And that’s where He started with me on this issue. Isn’t that amazing?! I thought surely my heart would be settled once I had figure out my sexual orientation. Oh, if He could just SPEAK TO ME and tell me what is RIGHT!! He did speak, and He didn’t at first want to talk about my sexuality, He just wanted me to know deep down, I belong to Him. I am secure in Him. I am not alone.

As I continued to speak with God, open my heart to my truest Heavenly Papa and Mama, I feel I have been shepherded so beautifully. I feel that God has given me true revelation concerning human sexuality, and it is very simple in my mind. I’ll do my best now to explain my paradigm:

Human sexuality has it’s origin in the mind and heart of God. The dream of human sexuality came from God and our sexual relationships are meant to reflect this idea, this dream. Human sexuality is meant to reflect the desire that God has to be connected with humanity. God burns with passion to connect intimately, heart to heart, spirit to spirit, with human beings. In the spiritual sense, God is “God” and we are the “other.” God desires to unite with us, the “Other.” In the natural sense, the union of the two differing types (male and female) represent this spiritual union between God and people. The union of female and female or male and male does not represent this spiritual union because one is connecting with the “same” instead of the “other.” There is a special and holy fullness that comes when the two different ones (male and female) unite together in a covenant relationship marked by mutual submission, vulnerability, and love for one another. While there are many beautiful gifts wrapped up in human sexuality (emotional and physical pleasure, bringing forth new life, etc.) the most beautiful aspect of it is the reflection of the design that God had in mind when He dreamed of how to express to clay and breath beings just how close and united God desires to be with His people.

As a follower of Jesus, I also feel personally accountable to the historical and written witness of the God of Israel’s story with people, that is, the Bible. What compels me the most concerning the Scriptures on sexuality are two pictures and one verse. The first picture is the beginning of Genesis- creation- where I see God’s original design for human sexuality fashioned between one man and one woman in a beautiful paradise. The other picture is at the very end of Revelation- the wedding supper of the Lamb- where the Father presents His Son Jesus with one pure, spotless, prepared, and equally yoked bride. The Scripture verse I like the most is what Jesus had to say about human sexuality when He references the beginning of creation. “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matt.19:4-6 While some may be skilled at picking apart the ancient languages and cultural contexts to prove or disprove whatever, this is not my interest. I see the broader view of these things, and I personally am very compelled by this.

I have shared really the smallest snippet here of my story and history concerning the working out of my own sexuality and gender with Jesus. Oh friends, this is just the beginning. I have much more that I thought I would write tonight. But I am tired and these are enough words for now.


One thought on “Thoughts on Sexuality

  1. This is really refreshing, I must say. To get passed the mess of endless assertions between right and wrong and once again find the beauty of desire between God and mankind expressed through a bridegroom and his bride. Thank you for your vulnerability It shows that you truly had to fight for the things you shared.

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