Heart held Hostage

Hi, there! I’ve been a little absent from the blog world the last week and a half. I’ve been spending time outside, soaking up these scattered-here-and-there remaining sunny and warm days that the year has to offer. Now that it’s a rainy Monday, I’m back!

It has been a season for me lately where connecting with God in ways I have in the past isn’t “working”. There are certain songs that used to help “usher” me into God’s Presence almost automatically (it seemed). As I have tried to engage in ways I have in the past, it has been feeling more like a formula instead of meeting with a friend, so I stop, and then I ask, “Jesus, how do you want to meet with me right now?”

I really believe that He wants to be with me all the time, but it looks different at different times. Sometimes it looks like dancing and skipping and playing, sometimes it looks like being quiet and resting, sometimes it looks like study and really engaging in dialogue with Him, sometimes it means silence and just meditating on His loving gaze towards me.

I can get caught up in thinking that religious activities are the key for me to meet with Him. Should I pray? Should I sing? Should I write music? Should I read the Bible? Should I, should I, should I…. ?

And then I remember, HE is the KEY. And when I turn the gaze of my heart towards Him, He is overwhelmed by my love (even though it is weak love!).

“You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes…” Song of Solomon 4:9

This is amazing… that I hold Jesus heart hostage (!!!) when I turn the glance of my heart (when I think of Him, remember Him, talk to Him) towards Him! This is scandalous, that the uncreated God could have such desire for dust like me. But it’s true, that I am scandalously loved by the Living God, and you are, too.

In times when it seems like a game of “hide and seek” to find the Presence of the Lord, I remember that He is madly in love with me, that He is trustworthy in His leadership of my life, that if He wants to communicate something to me, He will. I remember that the reason He feels distant sometimes is that He wants me to search Him out and journey deeper with Him in our love affair.

Imagine if every Friday night, my husband wanted to take me on a date to the same restaurant, order me the same meal, and come home afterwards to watch the same movie. I would get bored with that after a few weeks! I would say, “Husby… where’s the romance?! Where’s the adventure? C’mon, let’s jazz it up!”

Our journey with Jesus is an adventure- the best one! Today, I’m asking Him that He would reveal to YOU how He is romancing and pursuing you in new ways.


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