* It will be really helpful to read “Part I” if you haven’t already.
When I got back from that conference over New Years, I pressed into learning more about the love of God. I work at a House of Prayer, and the primary theme of the Prayer Movement is “the First Commandment as first place.” Intimacy with God, loving God, the knowledge of God- these are all things talked about, prayed about, sung about- all the time! I began pressing into 1 Corinthians 13, the classic love chapter. I asked the Lord to give me fresh eyes and heart to receive what He wanted me to from this chapter. It is easy as Christians to get overly familiar with the words of Scripture and miss the opportunity to let them pierce us in new ways. I used a website to start digging into the Greek and discovered a broader understanding of 1 Cor. 13.
And I was pierced. As I read words like “Love is not self seeking… Love is not proud… Love does not boast…” a deep awareness of my heart began to well up and I realized how desperate I was for MORE of the real love of God to take up residence in my heart. A realization of spiritual poverty came over me- the heart level understanding that without Him I really have NOTHING GOOD (Matthew 5:3). I thought I could do a pretty good job on my own (even as a Christian!!) without Him. Yikes! As all of this conviction was coming up in my heart, there was no harshness or condemnation from God towards me. There was a grieving and a sadness, but it was a feeling that made me run TO God and not FROM God.
I would then enter into that place before the Lord of holding my heart before Him and mediating on the realities of His love. In these times with the Lord, I would not fixate on the “lack” of my heart, I would fix my eyes on the One who is Manifest Love- the One who is the VERY DEFINITION OF LOVE (see the video below). When my heart would become discouraged with my own lack of love, I would lift my eyes again, and again, and again. And until I see Him face to face, every time I am discouraged, I will lift my eyes again, and again, and again.